Void
by Usami
Summary: It only took one comment to dramatically change how Chiro once viewed his mentor.


Tadah! I'm back!

This is just something I wanted to write after watching what has become one of my favorite episodes, "Ghost in the Machinder". This story, though, doesn't take place right after the episode, but rather after the end of season three, because the problem needed time to reveal itself (yeah, I made that up). Anyway, even though I've seen most of season three, I'm still not entirely sure what they've revealed about Antauri's robotic body, so please keep that in mind while you're reading this.

It was hard trying to keep Antauri in character while at the same time manipulating it in order to write this story. But since I've gotten so much positive feedback on my other three stories, I was hoping that I'd be as successful trying my hand at this. So...let's see how well that turned out, shall we?

I do not own _Super Robot Monkey Team_. Please enjoy!

**Void**

"Otto! Look out!" Nova called before blocking a sword from impaling her face.

Just as the mechanic turned to look in her direction, a large metallic arm swung out at him, striking him hard and sending him flying back.

Chiro gasped. "Otto!" But he had no time assist his friend. He barely had time to duck as three robots shot at him at once. Nearby, Sprx and Gibson faced off a troop of robots that had them cornered, back to back, while Nova was cut off from the others facing a troop on her own. They had no chance to help as the machine that had attacked the green monkey began to advance menacingly towards him.

"Otto!" the boy leader yelled, jumping into the air to avoid a robotic fist. "Otto, get up!"

But the green monkey didn't seem to hear him as he sat slumped against the wall while the robot continued to advance towards him. As it did so, it raised its large sword up into the air while electric sparks began shooting out from the weapon.

Kicking back one of the robots, Chiro growled softly when he saw the situation the other was in. "Antauri…!" he then yelled in a strained voice.

Suddenly, as the robot was bringing down its sword to strike, the electricity died and the robot, along with all the other robots, froze in place. Relaxing a little bit, the rest of the monkey team sighed softly in relief as the silver monkey stepped away from the control stand and towards the fallen mechanic.

"Are you all right, Otto?" he asked, offering his hand to the other.

Groaning a little, Otto looked up at the other before grasping the offer and getting to his feet. "Yeah, I think so…" he replied, rubbing the back of his head.

"What happened?" Nova asked as she and the others approached the two.

"It seems that Otto has outdone himself with his creations this time," Gibson replied. "Or rather, _they _have outdone_ him_."

They all stared and blinked when Otto's stomach began to growl rather loudly. He grinned sheepishly. "Guess I'm just a little hungry…" he said. Turning to the second-in-command, he asked, "Is it my turn to handle the controls and take a break now?"

"I think it's time for all of us to take a break…" Sprx said, folding his arms behind his head.

"I think it would benefit us to train a little while longer," Antauri spoke up. His comment, however, elicited a small groan from most of the team.

"Come on, Antauri," Chiro whined softly. "We've been at this for hours! And what are we training for anyway? The Skeleton King Worm is gone."

"It always helps to be prepared for anything. And while we continue on our way back to Shuggazoom, training ourselves would not hurt."

"Wouldn't hurt _you_ maybe," the red monkey retorted, letting his arms fall back to his sides as he faced the silver one. "But we're not entirely mechanical like you are. We need to take a break every now and then. C'mon…I mean, I know you're all robot now, but try to have a heart, will ya?"

The expression that Antauri wore was rather unreadable, and the Monkey Team was quite used to seeing him with that kind of look on his features. The frown on his lips was hardly foreign to him, and they all just assumed that he was somewhat frustrated that they weren't as willing to cooperate with him as he would have hoped.

Or at least they normally would have assumed that. But for some reason, as Chiro felt the silence that surrounded Antauri and Sprx, he sensed that something wasn't right.

What he heard next was very unexpected.

"Unfortunately Sprx," the silver monkey replied in a soft but tight voice, "to have a heart would be rather impossible for someone whose body is fully automated and does not require one…But of course you meant that my being entirely mechanical has had other, more negative effects on who I am…Is it not?"

The red monkey blinked in surprise while the other four exchanged curious and confused looks. Though Antauri's visual expression remained as neutral as always, the words and tone that he spoke with was perfectly clear to them. They could hear the discomfort and even slight anger that he spoke with, that he was trying to control as he spoke to the other. And what frightened them more was the fact that he was trying to control it…but couldn't seem to.

"Hey…" Sprx finally said, the small grin on his face not concealing the sudden nervousness he felt, "it was just a joke, Antauri…I didn't mean…"

"Perhaps," the second-in-command interrupted before the other could finish, "a small rest for all of us would be for the best right now." Turning away from the rest of the team, the silver monkey began heading for the door.

"Antauri…?" the teen called to the other. But he received no answer as the other walked out of the training room, disappearing into the depths of the Robot's interior.

"Wonderfully done, Sprx," Gibson said sarcastically. The hot shot turned to face the rest of them.

"I didn't mean it that way!" he replied defensively. "You know I didn't mean that way!…Right? I mean, I didn't think…"

"That's right," Nova shot back. "You _didn't_ think."

"It's not Sprx's fault, though…" Chiro said softly. "There's just…a lot going on in Antauri's mind right now…"

"What do ya mean?" Otto asked as they all looked up at the leader.

The boy looked down at the ground, trying to think of the right words to say. "I'm not really sure…It's just…Antauri's seemed a little…strange these last few days. He hasn't really been himself. He's seemed a bit…distracted, but I'm not sure why…"

"What do you think we should do?" the golden monkey asked softly.

Chiro thought for a brief moment before replying, "Right now…let's just leave him alone for a while and let him clear his head…" Then, trying to lighten the mood a bit, he smiled and added, "Plus, I'm kinda hungry myself. Let's get something to eat…"

The robotic monkeys nodded slightly, but no one said a words as they all exited the training room. And as he followed the others out, Chiro hesitated at the doorway, looking down the direction Antauri had gone in. Frowning deeply, he then went to catch up with the others.

* * *

When he had said a 'small rest', they had all assumed that Antauri would return at some point after a short period of time to resume training as he had initially intended. However, after a few hours passed and the silver monkey had yet to show, the Monkey Team had grown slightly concerned. Had what Sprx said before really upset him that much? 

Chiro had never really seen his mentor so troubled before. Not this way. And while the others wondered _whether_ the red monkey's comment had really upset Antauri so severely, the question on the leader's mind was _why_ it had. It was a question that he would get an answer to…somehow.

Hesitating as he stood in front of the door that separated him from Antauri's chambers, the boy inhaled deeply and let out a long, soft sigh before slowly approaching. The mechanical door slid open and the scene he was greeted with was the silver monkey hovering in the air, back towards him, sitting in the meditative lotus position. At first glance, everything seemed normal. But he somehow felt that something still wasn't quite right.

As he carefully entered the room, he jumped a little when the familiar deep voice rang out softly, "Is there anything I can do for you, Chiro?"

And the teen definitely knew that something was wrong. Normally when Antauri was meditating, he would be so focused on doing so that if Chiro wished to gain his attention, he would have to speak up first before Antauri fully acknowledged his presence. The fact that the silver monkey had spoken to him first meant that his mind hadn't been concentrating…that he had been distracted.

Was it really so upsetting…that even _Antauri_ couldn't clear his mind of it?

"I…um…just wanted to talk…" Chiro finally replied softly after the momentary pause.

Though the other remained in his sitting pose, he turned to face the teen. "All right…What is it that you wish to talk about?"

Fidgeting with his foot slightly, Chiro thought over his words very carefully as he tried to find the right things to say. "About…what Sprx said earlier…You know, he really didn't mean it."

Antauri's cobalt eyes, much to the leader's surprise, broke contact with his own in order to look at the ground below. "I know…" the monkey finally replied softly, turning away from him once again. "I suppose…I should not have reacted as I did. There was really no reason for me to be so offended by his words."

Chiro watched the other as carefully as he could, searching for any hints that could possibly tell him what exactly was going through the other's head. "But you did," he said. "Something about what Sprx said really hurt you, didn't it?"

"So it would seem…"

He knew that Antauri was very skilled at giving such evasive answers. But this one was different. The way it had been spoken made him feel that maybe even Antauri was unsure about everything that was happening now. That even Antauri was confused by it all.

"But why?" he finally asked softly. "If you knew he didn't mean it…why did what he said bother you so much?"

His mentor didn't answer for the moment, and the silence that came bounced along the walls and built up between them, creating a thick wall that he was afraid Antauri would hide behind to avoid answering his question. But he would break that wall if he had to, and he would do whatever it took to do so. There was already so much he didn't understand, and he knew that this didn't have to be one of those.

His attention returned when the silver monkey began to speak again, his tone soft and almost hard to hear. "Perhaps…I reacted as I did to his words…because it was simply another reminder of all that I am missing…"

Chiro blinked a little. The answer was certainly far from his expectations. "What do you mean?"

Antauri turned to face him once again, and Chiro could feel the unsettling look that had overcome the other's features. "Even I," the second-in-command stated, placing a hand on his torso, "occasionally forget that I am fully mechanical now. When that happens, however, I am of course forced to be reminded somehow. Still, it never seems to become any easier."

The boy frowned a little. "How do you forget something like that?" he asked softly. He didn't mean it in any form of derision. He just wanted to know how it was possible to forget such a massive change.

"I have not been this way forever…" the silver monkey replied softly. "Becoming something that you were not takes time to grow accustom to it……such as when you have grown used to living in a certain manner and then are no longer required to carry on that way. It is easy to forget that change…until something helps remind us of the truth."

Chiro thought for a moment, trying to understand what the other was saying. "So…even now…..you're still not used to being fully mechanical…?"

For the moment, Antauri held his gaze with Chiro's. Then, with a small nod of the head, he looked away.

"So…you got upset over Sprx's comment…because he was reminding you that you're full machine?"

"Not…exactly."

The boy frowned a little. "Then why…?"

"Because…it reminded me of how different I now truly am."

He watched as the silver monkey began floating away from him. "Antauri…" he said softly, "I don't…really think I understand…"

"Perhaps that's for the best then…" the other replied, still not facing him.

Silent for a moment, the leader thought carefully over his friend's words before it finally clicked in his mind. "Oh no!" he said firmly. "You can't twist out of it like that! If something's bothering you like this, you should talk about it! Not even _you_ can keep it bottled up forever!"

Antauri didn't answer for a few minutes. Then, with a small sigh, he said, "I'm not sure…"

Chiro frowned deeply, though the concern and determination in his eyes never wavered. "Antauri…" he said softly, "you told me once…that a team doesn't keep secrets from each other, didn't you?"

Hesitantly, the second-in-command glanced at his leader.

"Please Antauri…Talk to me. If something's wrong…I wanna know. Maybe all I can do is listen…but that's better than nothing, right?"

The silver monkey sighed again, looking down at the ground and thinking through the options. Finally, after what felt as though hours had passed by, he finally turned to the teen. "With this body as a full machine…" he started slowly, "many of the situations that the others must deal with are circumstances that I no longer have to…"

"Like what?"

Antauri paused for a moment, trying to come up with the right words to explain properly. "Even though I am still able to hear and see things…the other senses are either limited or nonexistent to me. The ability to smell, for example, I no longer have. In truth…I no longer require the need to breathe."

Chiro blinked in surprise. "You don't?"

The silver monkey shook his head. "No…"

"But I've seen you sometimes! You still breathe heavy when you've stressed yourself out or something!"

"It is true I have done that…But remember, when you have grown accustomed to a certain way of doing or performing, it is difficult to change from that even if you no longer require it. Essentially, any heavy breathing you may see me doing is an action out of habit, not necessity."

The teen stared at the other, still surprised. It was hard to imagine no longer needing to breathe. If he was in Antauri's position, would he forget as well? "What else?" he asked softly.

"Well…I am not able to taste anything anymore…"

"Is that why you never seem to eat?"

"Actually, I no longer eat because I no longer need to eat."

"Wait…You don't need to eat?"

Antauri shook his head. "No. In this body, the energy I require cannot be processed through the ingestion of food."

"So you don't eat anymore…"

"That is correct."

"But you still drink, don't you? I've seen you do that…"

"That is because this body still needs to be hydrated in order to function properly. Such is the case with a car or any other vehicle. However, even though I need some fluid substance in my system, it really does not matter what it is because I cannot taste it."

Chiro placed a hand to his chin thoughtfully. "So…you don't breathe which means you can't smell…You don't eat and you can't taste anything…What about feeling?"

The silver monkey held out his hand. "In the physical sense, my ability to feel is limited."

"What do you mean?"

Pausing for a moment, the second-in-command tried to come up with the best way to explain. Floating to the nearby wall, he carefully took into his hand one of the hanging images that decorated his chambers. "I still have the ability to feel…that allows me to sense that I am holding something…But I am unable to feel the actual material this is made from." Releasing the banner, he then placed his hand on the wall. "I am able to feel the force of the wall against my hand, but I cannot feel fabric that is covering it." He closed his eyes, placing his hand on his helmet. "With the flow of water, or a passing wind…I can feel the force of each push against me, but I cannot feel the moisture of the water, or the touch of the breeze itself."

Opening his eyes again, the silver monkey then floated towards the teen. "And…if you were to fall ill with a fever now…" he added, his hand hover just above the boy's forehead, "I would not be able to tell."

"Then…" Chiro said softly, looking up at the monkey, "you can't feel temperature either?"

"I can…" Antauri replied, floating back to put some distance between them, "but only extreme temperatures. For me to feel the heat or cold of something, it must reach a certain point for this body to sense."

"Okay…so you're saying that you can feel some things…but not a lot of things?"

"I suppose that's one way to put it…"

The boy bit his tongue slightly as he continued to think. "What about…pain? I've seen you…in pain before. Do you really feel that, or is that a force of habit too?"

Antauri shook his head slightly. "No…Pain is certainly something I feel when it occurs."

"But…how is that possible? If you don't really feel certain things, how does your body sense when it's in pain?"

The silver monkey looked down at the ground. "I…am not sure of that myself. I can only suppose that when the Alchemist was creating the body of the silver monkey, he somehow enabled it to feel pain…But I really cannot be certain. There are still many questions about the silver monkey that I have…that I still am unable to answer. Existing here," he added, once again placing his hand on his torso, "I feel as though something within me is missing…And if one does not know himself, he cannot be expected to know others…"

The last statement really caught Chiro's attention. But he said nothing as he continued to watch the other hover away from him. The way Antauri had spoken that sentence…it was probably the most troubled the other had sounded since their conversation began.

"Is that what this is all about?" the teen asked softly. "Because of all this stuff that you're going through, you feel like you don't know the others anymore?"

Antauri didn't answer, and continued to keep his focus on the ground.

"C'mon Antauri, you don't have to worry about things like that. We all know that you can always sense how we're feeling and stuff…"

"But to know _how _others are feeling is very different from understanding _why_."

Chiro frowned a little as he watched the silver one, feeling the strange air of sadness that surrounded him once more. "What do you mean?"

Closing his eyes for a moment, the robotic monkey placed his hand on his chin for to think. When he opened his eyes again, he said, "Take what happened earlier…I was able to sense the fatigue from you and the others…but I could not fully realize the reasons because of the way I am now…"

"Um…" the boy said, scratching the back of his head slightly.

"Perhaps the reason you and the others were so tired was because you had no energy to continue training. The lack of energy could be because of the need to eat, which is why you and Otto felt hungry. I could sense the hunger you both felt…But because I sometimes forget how truly different I am from the rest of you, I also forget that I no longer need to eat because I am a machine. Unfortunately, I make the mistake of relating myself to you, and I feel that because I feel no fatigue, there should be no reason for any of you to feel fatigue. I often forget…that while I no longer experience a certain state because of my mechanical being, the rest of you still could feel what I do not. I forget…that I should not relate myself to you all that way any longer…"

The leader still looked at the other for a while longer before his gaze lowered to the ground. "I'm sorry…" he suddenly blurted out.

Antauri turned towards him, blinking in bewilderment. "Sorry?" he asked softly. "For what?"

"Everything you're going through…It's all because of me, isn't it? Because I brought you back into that body…"

With a small sigh, the mechanized monkey floated back towards the teen and gently placed his hand on the boy's head. "Please do not misunderstand, Chiro…" he said softly. "All this is not your fault. You were simply trying to save my life, and I am very grateful to you for that. I am thankful to still be alive…" Removing his hand, he began to float away again. "Perhaps these problems that I have mentioned are irrelevant compared to many other things…But these are problems that I must face daily. These are my own dilemmas that I must work through…somehow…"

Looking up and watching the other, Chiro couldn't help but think of how he had never seen his mentor like this before. This was truly the first time he had ever seen Antauri seem so troubled and frustrated over something…So confused and unsure…maybe even a little lost about it all. And the other never really talked about any personal problems before. He usually talked about problems with Skeleton King and preserving the goodness of the universe or things like that. To hear his friend talk about something like this…to worry about something that came from inside himself…He had to admit, it was so _strange_ to see the other this way.

But even though he was still worried about his second-in-command, that didn't stop the small smile that crossed his lips as another thought entered his mind.

"Y'know Antauri…" the teen said softly, "for as long as I've known you…for as long as I've lived here with you and the others, and got to know you all…I've always thought that _you _were different from the others."

A little surprised, the silver monkey looked at the teen once again.

"I mean…I guess I always figured you had something you _could_ be worried about…something you were afraid of, something you wanted, or something that bothered just you…But with the way you acted, it was really hard to remember that. You were always helping me get better or worrying about Shuggazoom…talking about peace in the universe…It just seemed like you were so busy with things _around_ you, you never had any problems with just _yourself_."

Still smiling, Chiro crossed his arms over his torso. "And you were usually so calm and stuff, even when things got really bad…I mean, I've never really seen you _really_ scared or angry before…And it's cool and everything, but it just made you seem really out there, you know? A little…detached, I guess. It was really hard to compare you to all the others, because what you thought or did just seemed so much different.

"But now…hearing you talk about these problems and how you feel about them…seeing you worry about them like this…It makes me think…that maybe you're not as different as I thought you were…"

The teen looked over at the other. "So you forget that you're all machine and don't ever get hungry…Even if you can't connect with us like that anymore…you can still sense when we're feeling scared or angry or sad…or happy…and you can still understand what all _those_ things are like…because you can still experience things that make you feel that way, even if it's just the little things. You can still connect with us that way…and isn't that important too?"

Another silence settled over the two, but Chiro felt more comfortable surrounded by this one. It seemed calmer than the silence before, not as tense and awkward as the first had been. The atmosphere felt lighter and definitely less troubled, much like the air that he now sensed from his mentor.

And then he watched as a small smile appeared on Antauri's features. "Of course you're right…" the second-in-command replied softly. "It seems through this predicament I have given myself, I have forgotten what truly matters…"

The leader smiled happily.

"Even so…" the silver one added, "I still cannot help but feel as though something is missing…"

"Well…I may not really understand what you're going through, Antauri…But if you ever wanna talk about it, I'm always gonna be here. And so will the rest of the team…because we're here for you…"

The smile that had faded momentarily soon returned as the silver monkey looked at the boy. "Thank you, Chiro…" the robotic monkey said.

Grinning slightly, the teen folded his arms behind his head. "No problem," he answered. "I'm just glad that I was able to help you for a change."

"Even those who guide others need guidance themselves sometimes…"

"Yeah…" the teen replied slowly, looking around the room. Turning to the other again, he said, "Anyway, we should go find the others and see what they're up to…"

Hesitating slightly, Antauri nodded and followed Chiro out of the room.

* * *

The heads of the four robot monkeys looked up as the hiss of the transport tubes signaled Chiro and Antauri's arrival to the Command Center, watching as the two approached them. 

"Hey, um…Antauri?" Nova said softly as the silver monkey stood before them. "Are you okay?"

The second-in-command nodded slightly. "I'm fine," he replied. "I simply needed some time to think…"

"Well…um…we're all ready to train again," Otto said, rubbing the back of his head. "Y'know…like ya wanted…"

"Well, that is up to Chiro."

The leader blinked rapidly, looking at the silver monkey before scratching the side of his head. "I…guess it wouldn't hurt to do a little more training," he responded. "But since we've done so much of it today, we don't really have to do so much right now…"

The simians nodded slightly and followed him to the training room. As he began to do so, however, Antauri stopped as he felt a pair of eyes watching him. Turning around, he found Sprx standing there with a rather worried and uncertain expression in his large dark eyes. Sensing that the other was still concerned over the exchange that had taken place between them before, he smiled and shook his head slightly to show he harbored no ill feelings over it. In turn, the red monkey smiled as well and nodded, and the two of them hurried to catch up with the others.

And Antauri knew that it was that type of unspoken communication that Chiro had mentioned before, the type of communication that allowed him to sense how the others were feeling, that enabled him to connect to the team – to his friends. As long as he could have that deep relationship with the others, he really had nothing to worry about.

Still, there were numerous questions that he held about himself and the silver monkey…questions that would always press in his mind and that would follow him through his entire existence. Questions…that he wasn't sure he'd ever find the answers to. And even if he did find what he was searching for…would that be better than what he already knew now?

For now, he remained uncertain. Perhaps he would discover the explanations he really needed…someday…

**The End**

So what did you all think? I hope I kept Antauri in character. I did the best I could under the circumstances that I put him through. Remember, these are just ideas about Antauri that I had about his robotic body. They came from my own mind, and if they don't make sense, or if you didn't like any of them, then sorry about that. But I still enjoyed writing this, and I'm not sorry about that. Hah.

I'm not sure how many could figure this out, but the title 'Void' is actually a double meaning. The first meaning is the obvious; Antauri feels as though something is missing because his body is no longer "living" as all the others and it's hard for him to adjust. The other meaning comes from Japan.

In Japanese philosophy, there are five elements. Four of them are the same as here in America: _Sui_ or _Mizu_, which is "Water", _Chi_, which is "Earth", _Ka_ or _Hi_, which is "Fire", and _Fu_ or _Kaze_, which is "Wind". The fifth element, however, is called _Ku_, which has been translated as "Sky", "Heaven", or more commonly (can you guess?) "Void". In Japan, the element of Void (and I quote this from wikipedia, so please spare me if it's wrong), "represents those things beyond our everyday experience, particularly those things composed of pure energy." Those who fall under the element of void are "people in a higher state of consciousness." Also, Void represents spirit, thought, creative energy, and our ability to think and communicate. Again, I got all this information from Wiki, so please don't hurt me if it's wrong.

Anyway, after reading through the Japanese elements and thinking about them, I thought that Antauri would most closely resemble the element of Void. What do you think? I felt that it fit. Do you agree?

Oh well. Hopefully you all enjoyed this. Please review, but no flames if you can help it. I've got a few more stories that I'm working on (including another one inspired by "Ghost in the Machinder"), and hopefully I'll be able to post them up. But please let me know if this one turned out all right. Thanks and have a great day!


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